And Another Thing…

There is a phenomenon occurring here at Comic-Con every single night thus far that I’ve noticed. Around 7 pm or so, several panels get out simultaneously, and a legion of humanity clogs the front walkways of the convention center. Several things may occur if you find yourself there for the first time, literally stuck in traffic without a car!

Elbows and booted feet, wings on costumes and recording equipment carried by major Press are now officially weapons, and you may expect to have any one of these implements used violently upon you at any time inside the traffic clog.

‘Excuse me’, ‘Pardon me’, and any and all other manners of apology, even including ‘My bad, dude’ are immediately deleted from your and everyone else’s vocabulary the moment you enter the herd.

Once you enter the herd, you are propelled forth not under your own momentum but on those behind you, so expect to be trampled, have long waits where not a thing moves, and expletives all around. Just like in real traffic!

Strollers are now weapons as well, being loaded down with shwag instead of children. Small children are generally propelled through traffic ahead of the parental unit, to clear the way. I kid you not – noone wants to be the dick who stepped on a five-year.

Watch out for the smokers! Even being a smoker myself, I know better than to light one up and then join the mob, but there are plenty who don’t observe that nicety. Some folk actually lift their cigarettes up over the heads of others when traffic pauses, so be on the watch for, yes, ash in your hair.

Traffic goes both ways, there are absolutely no traffic signals of any kind, and every line, group, and troupe thinks they of course have the right of way, and first too. And don’t forget the buses, who have people line up for them at the, you guessed it, front convention hall walkway!

Ranted by Alicia Glass

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